When Insults Had Class

Monday, January 14th

Undoubtedly since it is a Monday there will be a few of you that won't be in the greatest of moods. A friend forwarded me something the other day. Normally I hate forwards and I am too polite (or chicken) to ever tell her or anyone else to stop. Yet, this was just too funny to not pass on.

When Insults Had Class

An exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison.”
He replied, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."- Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill in response.

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E.Leonard

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

Lady Astor to Churchill: "You are totally drunk and despicable."

Churchill's reply: "Ah yes, but later this evening both of us will go to sleep. And in the morning I will be sober and a leader; you will still be ugly and rude."