Thursday, April 24, 2008
This week we had another Leadership Team meeting. I continue to be amazed at the godly people God has assembled to guide this church.
One of the things on my agenda for after the meeting was a one on one with Paul Williams. Paul has been a personal friend and mentor for many years.
In March the CCV staff finished our annual 360 degree reviews where everyone on our staff had an opportunity to weigh on the positive and negative aspects of each other’s performance. It’s pretty affirming and painful stuff all at the same time.
Once that process was over I emailed Paul the complete file and we agreed that after the Leadership Team meeting in April we would meet for my review.
“Brian, you know I think the world of you, don’t you?” he started.
“Yes, I believe that 100%. I trust you completely.”
“Then please understand that what I’m about to share comes from a heart that loves you and only wants to see you become all that God has called you to become.”
Then he took a deep breath and shared two things:
1. He shared a story from his own life where he struggled with what he was about to share with me. That put me at ease. Right off the bat he made it clear that he wasn’t positioning himself as someone who didn’t understand my struggles.
2. Then he slowly said, “Brian, I think ______________________.”
My chin immediately dropped.
I just sat in silence and listened to what he shared.
I thought, He nailed it.
He IMMEDIATELY nailed the core theme that emerged loud and clear through the reviews.
As he expounded point by point though, two things became abundantly clear to me: First, I needed to change. Second, Paul was not judging me, but cheering me on.
I told Paul that I agreed with everything he said, without exception, and that I also continue to be overwhelmed by his love and graciousness towards me.
Together we made a plan to help me proceed, and then he put his hand on my shoulder and said, "You know I love you and think the world of you, don't you?"
I said, "Absolutely."
Proverbs 27:6 says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted.”
I know that first-hand.
Wounds From A Friend Can Be Trusted
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6 comments:
this was a great post brian. i've only recently began checking out your blog entries and, for me, this one by far was the best. it was genuine.
Good for you. Good for Paul. Amazing what happens when we combine truth + grace. I think 80% of our problems in church (and elsewhere, actually) could be solved if we just practiced this consistently.
I find it extremely difficult to find someone who is able to give that constructive criticism. I know in my case I find it hard to distinguish between someone pushing me to truly succeed in ministry, and someone trying to tell me that I may possibly be insufficient. I have two questions about your post.
One - In what ways can you best affirm others that are trying to succeed in ministry.
and
Two - How do you distinguish your Paul Williams from someone who doesn't understand the battles we fight.
Really awesome post Brian. Learning more every day.
-Adam
Paul is a great mentor/friend to have.. he's been very helpful to my parents in their ministries, in much the same way. Wise counsel.. Always needed and always refreshing.
360 reviews are scary.
Brian,
I guess none of us are perfect yet.
Ed
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