Brian Jones

Over the past two days people have asked me to give a list of what I would consider uniquely masculine characteristics of Christian men. Here they are. Tomorrow I’ll talk about the unique characteristics of masculine male Christian leaders.

Here goes…

1. Masculine men don’t have sex with other men.

One would think this would be self-explanatory, but not in today’s culture. I don’t care how tall, well-built, tough acting and great looking a guy is. If he has sex with another man, he is performing an act reserved only for women. In the truest sense, only effeminate men have sex with other men.

2. Masculine men are comfortable being the “head” of their wives.

Ephesians 5:23 says, “The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” The word “head” in Greek (kephale) is used to describe an anatomical head, but also to describe to the point of a spear, the top of a wall, and the front of a ship. The context of Ephesians 5:23 tells us that just as Christ went ahead of the church to save it as its Savior (dying on the cross), the husband goes ahead of his wife and protects her (and as an indirect result his family). Masculine men lead their wives in the sense that they sacrifice for them, protect them, and keep them from experiencing undue stress, exhaustion, pain and hardship. Only effeminate men push their wives to go ahead of them and experience what they as husbands should experience.

3. Masculine Men treat their wives with tenderness.

1 Peter 3:7 tells us that husbands should treat their wives with respect “as the weaker partner.” In the Greek it literally says “weaker vessel,” referring to a woman’s smaller physical stature. Masculine men are both strong and tender at the same time. Effeminate men treat their wives as equals, verbally fighting (and sometimes physically fighting) under the assumption that “she is just as strong as I am and can handle it.”

4. Masculine men lead well and submit well.

Ephesians 5:21 tells us to “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Masculine men feel very comfortable leading their wives, but at the same time feel just as comfortable submitting to their wives, just as scripture teaches. Effeminate men never take the lead. They push for egalitarian relationships wherever they go.

5. Masculine men model for their children what a woman doesn’t look like.

Early childhood developmental psychologists call this “triadic family relationships.” Little girls learn how a woman acts not only by observing their mother, but by contrasting her with their father. The father demonstrates how a man acts and how a woman doesn’t act. Masculine men don’t dress like women. They don’t act like women. They don’t wear dresses and makeup. Of course there are common characteristics shared by both parents, but both go to great lengths to model what each specific gender looks like for their children. And unlike what our culture teaches us, that’s a good thing. As a proud father of three girls who routinely crush boys their age in soccer and Lacrosse, I want them to also know there are things they shouldn’t do as young women.

6. Masculine men are comfortable around other men.

Effeminate men were allowed at an early age to coddle whatever male-to-male relationship insecurities they had and spend more time among girls than boys. Rather than acknowledging what John Eldridge calls the “Father wound” in many men (lack of bonding with the father) and challenging men to bond with other men, church cultures often perpetuate a lack of authentic male relationship building opportunities (the very thing that can heal a father wound). Simply put, effeminate men spend most of their time with women or other effeminate men.

7. Masculine men speak the truth in love.

Effeminate men are afraid of confrontation. They gossip, slander and besmirch people, especially other men. Masculine men aren’t afraid to confront sin, call on people to change, and speak prophetically into people’s lives. Effeminate men only focus on feeling accepted and being inclusive. Masculine men aren’t afraid to speak the truth in love.

-- Leave a comment below, or stop and say “hello” on Twitter or Facebook.

Comments (9)