The Power Of Non-Effeminate Male Leaders In The Church
It’s an established fact that more women attend church than men. What’s not so established is the cause. After serving for almost 25 years in churches around the country I have my own theory: many pastors are effeminate. My first thought after moving to Princeton to go to seminary was, I’ve never met so many effeminate men in my life. No wonder the church can’t attract strong male leaders. The Christian community keeps sending Richard Simmons to get trained to lead it's churches.
Ralph Waldo Emerson one remarked that “An institution is the lengthened shadow of one man.” Right or wrong, I definitely believe that to be true. Churches, over time, begin to reflect the values, personality, and leadership style of the servant leader pointing the way.
If this is true, then, effeminate church cultures (places where the liturgy, teaching, leadership style, topics addressed or avoided, social norms for what a devout Christian looks like reflect more feminine characteristics) can be attributed in part at least to the nature and characteristics of the person charged with leading that flock. If a congregation is led by a more masculine leader that church will in turn take on a more masculine personality. If a church is led by a more effeminate leader, the converse will be true.
I say all this to bring your attention to a great article I just read about Tim Tebow, Heisman-winning quarterback from the University of Florida Gators. For the men who read this blog and are constantly on the lookout out for humble, gracious and godly male role models, this is a story worth checking out. It’s also worth sharing with your sons and with the spiritually-seeking men in your circle of influence. I know I was encouraged. Here it is...
You Gotta Love Tim Tebow by Austin Murphy, Sports Illustrated, July 27, 2009.
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Comments (8)
David Helton on Aug 2, 2009 6:51pm
Brian,
I'm a little confused. It sounds a little like you are pitting one gender against the other with the obvious result that men (the masculine) are always better. Maybe I just need more clarification about what you mean by the term "effeminate". I probably agree with you about some of the characteristics lacking in many of our church leaders. I guess I just think that maybe there is a better way to describe these characteristics without making it sound like the worst thing that could ever happen to a man is to have any "female" characteristics whatsoever. I'm trying to teach some delinquent boys about the character of a true man and how their taunting of other boys who won't smoke dope, etc by calling them "wussie" and other names is saying that the worst possible thing they could do is to act like a girl. Maybe I just misunderstood your comment. I believe our spiritual leaders should be strong but I guess I don't equate feminine with weak. I know alot of women who are alot stronger than any of the most "masculine" of men.
Brian Jones on Aug 2, 2009 7:48pm
Hi David,
Thanks for your comment. Let me elaborate...
First I am not saying in the least that one is better than the other. In fact, I think that strong masculine leaders will also empower strong female leaders.
Second I'm also not saying that we need church leaders who are misogynstic and exclusionary.
What I'm advocating is that men need to be the men that God created them to be - proudly displaying their part of the image of God Gen. 1:28 talks about. Popular church culture according to numerous authors/pastors/thinkers metaphorically castrates the typical man that enters its doors - leading him to adopt atypical habits, behaviors, desires, etc.) For instance, what unchurched man do you know that really enjoys singing, outloud, in a group of people? In my experience that number is quite small. Yet, what do we do? We work tirelessly to get men to go to a church service, then they spend the first 1/3 of it singing, outloud, in a group of people. Usually led by women, or by a man in a funny outfit.
Contemporary, out-reach focused churches need powerful, godly, female leaders.
It also needs powerful, godly, masculine men.
Unlike so much of contemporary culture I think there's a difference between the two.
I agree with your comment that "I know alot of women who are alot stronger than any of the most "masculine" of men.
I just think that shouldn't remain the case.
God bless you in your parenting efforts David. Stay the course.
David Helton on Aug 2, 2009 9:10pm
Hi Brian,
Thanks for your clarification. I too believe that men and women do have different qualities and I am not voting for a unisex world. I do think however that we should be careful how we generalize long held and often incorrect stereotypes of both men and women. When one uses the term "effeminate" to characterize a man who acts weak, indecisive, submissive, timid, and emotional ,we are really saying that this is what women (feminine) are. There is a strong implication there by the use of that term that women are less than men. These same types of incorrect assumptions and stereotypes also exist for the word "masculine", which by and large, simply means the opposite of those stereotypes I listed for feminine, i.e. strong, decisive, courageous, etc. These are words that can describe any person, not just male or female, as are the so-called feminine traits previously mentioned. I just think it would be more meaningful to say that the seminarys and pulpits are filled with weak, indecisive, fearful, timid men and this needs to change. As Ed Young says, Christianity is not for wimps. Note that I don't equate the word "wimp" with being feminine either.
God bless you pastor for your ministry to those whoare lost. By the way, when I spoke of the delinquent boys I'm working with, those are not my children. These are young men in a substance abuse treatment program I'm doing some work with.
Keith on Aug 3, 2009 8:51am
With more women than men serving at CCV and referring to your "Failed Experiment" sermon in relation to "Churches, over time, begin to reflect the values, personality, and leadership style of the servant leader pointing the way." Where is the fire and the energy we saw on that Sunday. When is Jesus taking over and when are we going to start raisinig disciples to remedy the issues you have raised.
Ethan Magness on Aug 3, 2009 12:11pm
I share your concern for the situation you describe but I have a two hesitations about your analysis.
The first is your use of the observed data (which I will accept because my observation is the same.)
Based upon your observed data - mostly women serving under male pastors - you conclude that the problem is many pastors are effeminate.
But one might conclude that we need more female pastors or more effeminate male pastors just as easily as we need manlier ones. Maybe women just are wired up to enjoy hearing Men talk and more men would want to hear women talk. I am not necessarily arguing this point, but I feel that the jump from the observed data to the conclusion is hard to substantiate.
That said, I think that gender aside you rconclusions about the kind of communal spaces that exist is the church is pretty accurate. Most churches provide a very narrow range of communal spaces that center around a few activites, (singing, listening, and small group personal conversation.) If someone (of any gender) does not find these sorts of spaces inviting, we usually just try to force them to fit. You may be right that this concern for fittedness is more difficult for more men, but the problem itself does not seem to be a gender issue but rather a lack of a broad vision for communal life.
We need communal spaces that offer a context for real discipleship that are centered around, play and work, study and mission, worship and auto repair, congregational singing and barbeques.
My second concern is that this notion of femininity and masculinity is very heavily influenced by our culture. In fact it is not clear to me that any of us can sufficiently free ourselves from our cultural blinders to judge the appropriate level of masculinity in another person. Must our church leaders be they be violent, athletic, and non-communicative.
Perhaps the attention to gendered expression is a red-herring from a simpler argument. People who grow up to lead churches are likely to be people who enjoy the kinds of communal worlds that churches already provide and so a self-perpetuating cycle is created. I grew up in a church that appreciated music, study, and lecture style preaching. I shared those values and so I was encouraged as a leader in the church. Naturally as a church leader today, it is easy for me to promote similar communal values.
Even without an appeal to gendered cultural norms, it is easy to see how your basic truth: "Churches, over time, begin to reflect the values, personality, and leadership style of the servant leader pointing the way." can cultivate a self perpetuating cycle that excludes those who don't want to stand and sing love songs to Jesus or share their feelings in small group regardless of their level of masculinity.
john alan turner on Aug 3, 2009 12:38pm
Brian,
I actually think we lose a lot of men when they're still boys by giving them the impression (via children's environments created and staffed almost exclusively by women) that church is for girls.
mario rojas on Aug 3, 2009 3:17pm
Brian can you specify whats effeminate is (its manners) and how do you think a male pastor must be in caracter so he dont act effeminate.
Diane Karchner on Aug 4, 2009 7:45am
I have my own theory on this as well, about why more women attend than men. I agree that for some men, the perception that the church is effeminate could be one. There are certainly some effeminate pastors out there, or those that could be because of their gifting. You certainly have more hands-on experience in that realm than I.
But discussing this topic with men who do not attend church - those I work with on a daily basis. They don't go, cause they don't want to hear what God wants them to do. They don't want to change. See no reason to rely on anyone but themselves. After all...a direct quote from a VP..."I've made it this far, and got all this success. Why would I need God." Our society is a factor in all of this, and I don't think we can leave that broader view out of the discussion. And a final remark - effeminate or non-effeminate - a church, or any organization, grows, is healthy, focused and alive when a leader is leading. Too many times, I have attended a church in which the sr. pastor is kind, good-hearted, pastoral but lacked leadership qualities that drew people to him, and to the church. Not charisma. Leadership. Big difference.
And you thought I was going to bash your chauvinistic, misplaced characterization, didn't you!!?? Silly boy!!